Selina Mathur is a licensed professional counselor (LPC) currently practicing at Santore & Associates Health and Wellness in Chesterland, Ohio. She has spent the past 18 years of her professional experience working as a special education teacher, school counselor as well as a mental health clinical counselor. Selina’s most recent experience includes working with children and adolescents in both the school and outpatient setting helping them to be more successful in their environments (family, school, and peer.) During this time, she developed her passion and niche for treating the family system as well as ADHD, anxiety, and depressive disorders. Selina believes in treating her clients holistically and considering all internal and external factors, including peer and family relationships, academic performance, and mental health disorders. Therefore, Selina will often serve as an advocate to families by attending both IEP and/or 504 meetings when necessary. She has specialized training in various parenting programs such as Love and Logic and Conscious Discipline.
Uncertainty is among us all on both a macro (global) and a micro (local) level. We are living through a pandemic which has triggered within us our most basic instincts as human beings, resulting in an increase in fear and its secondary component, anger. We have lost a great deal of the stability that once anchored us and supported us in maintaining our identity and our purpose. Our balance and stability are suffering as a result. There has never been a better time to self-reflect and determine the best course of action to improve our overall functioning and well-being.
Human beings find comfort in routine, structure, and security. Fear often develops or worsens when either of these components are challenged. This can result in worsening symptoms of depression and anxiety including sleep deprivation, irritability, anger, and withdrawal. When living in this state of heightened nervous system arousal our focus suffers which then impacts our performance at home, school or work.
In effort to free ourselves from the fear, brought upon by uncertainty, it is crucial that we first examine beliefs and habits that lead to suffering which often include “should’s” or “should haves.” When examining these beliefs and habits, we want to simultaneously address the feelings and emotions that come along with them. It is particularly important that we do not run away from these emotions/feelings, but rather accept them for what they are and nothing more. For example, many of us compulsively check our phone/emails, overeat, consume ourselves with work or engage in other destructive behavior. Upon examining these behaviors, one may discover that he or she is masking/ignoring the impact this pandemic has had on their finances while also contributing to the emotions of worry or despair they are experiencing. Once admitting the emotions that develop from beliefs and habits that contribute to suffering, we can commit to engaging in daily activities to bring about positive change. Remaining in the present moment and working to accept “what is”, especially during uncertain times, is often the best way to challenge our beliefs and values. Here, we accept the notion that uncertainty is a part of life and completely beyond our control which we then take pleasure in discovering the potential beauty of the present moment. One specific strategy to enhance your present awareness is to take a brief moment daily to simply pause and notice the sounds and sights within the environment you reside and succumb to the peace and quiet that often arise. The fear-based messages which lead/contribute to anxiety will dissipate for that very moment, bringing about utter tranquility. Additionally, coming to accept the sameness in all of us—i.e. that we are all in this pandemic together and will get through it together often mitigates the fear resulting from uncertainty. Reaching out to others at this challenging time and helping out in some way may help improve your mood and being which may also reduce suffering. As parents or caregivers, it is important to practice self-compassion and be kind to yourselves which may include carving out 5 minutes a day to do an enjoyable activity such as yoga, meditation, exercise, talking to a friend, or engaging in an art activity. In addition, daily gratitude journaling is a great tool to encourage positive thinking.
Overall, history supports that uncertain times will always exist AND they will not last forever. As a human being, it can be challenging to accept these current stressors and, in many ways, it may be easier to put up our blinders to cope. There has never been a better day than today to take the first steps towards challenging these thought patterns that proliferate the stress we experience. The joy and peace you can experience upon making these changes will be worth every effort made.
